Fin.

From Fin

Last month...

From 8

...Has started. Been a while now, sorry, been busy. I'm studying 24/7 right now, or so it feels. Yoga sutras, Hatha Yoga Pradipika, Bhagavad Gita, Anatomy, Chanting, bleh bleh bleh... Have some four thousand words of essay to write for my course back home, so there's some more fun! The main teacher Sharath Rangaswamy is gone abroad, so its only his rather strict mother Saraswati left to teach, who has us coming in at half past four in the morning. Yay... :P

If you're the kind that recycles, uses as little plastic as possible, tries to do train instead of planes, trying to reduce your "carbon footprint", don't go to India. Or, bring anti-depressives. What's wrong with these people?? I mean it, within the first two weeks down here, my smoking lounges came back. There's a constant fog lying around the city, with a bluish hue to it. Plastic is sold like candy, no recycling, people throw garbage in the streets like they don't care. Rickshaws pollute like mini-coal plants. Hey, the government was gonna force the drivers to put new clean engines and filters in their Rickshaws to help clean up the air in the cities? Rickshaw drivers all over the country went on strike. The government then tried to ban smoking, saying -that- was the cause of the soaring lounge cancer numbers down here. You may guess how well that turned out. These people... They live in filth down here, and the government won't do nothing about it. They have casteless people working the streets to clean up what little they can, and they figure that will suffice. Thumbs up!!!

What a place. The singing cars, salesmen shouting "papaya" all day long in the streets, kids asking for country coins, getting ripped off in stores, cows wandering around blocking traffic, dead dogs in the streets, dogs barking their brains out all night long, waiters who don't understand english, flies and mosquitos, masala spice, masala spice, masala spice!! Do they have an imagination?? Indians with their wobbling heads, criminal police demanding bribes, muslims and hindus demonstrating and fighting, people burning garbage in the streets, open sewers, lying rickshaw drivers, everybody wants something of you, noisy traffick, the constant "Which country?", "Norway!", "What?!", "Europe!", "Ok!"... Man... If the Yoga practice is about finding peace in a stressful situation, India is the place to practice... But! A month from now I shall be on a plane home...

...Oh, got a complaint again. I didn't actually write about the yoga or put up pictures? Dunno what to tell ya. Have no photos, any story about it, well... A lot of breathing. I got a video tho! Enjoy:

Detox and a hard place.

I had food poisoning, guys. Usually it knocks people out completely, just days of various unidentifiable assortments of liquids simultaniously pouring out every exit of the body in macabre concert. My liver on the other hand just said "Leave it by the appendix. I'll handle it". Headache, soar muscles, mission accomplished. There has got to be something wrong with me.

My grandmother recently had asked if Harald was eating well in India. The answer is... Not really... Not at all actually. The "Master Cleanser" was developed by a man called Stanley Burroughs, and its quite the clever contraption, if the expression serves. The issue is detox. As a former hobby alchoholic (hello, Øystein), fast food eating, 20-a-day habiter (or is that hobbit?), and non-for-any-reason-physical-excersiser, I have done my part in exploring how not to treat a body designed around having a mineral rich, organic, varied diet, constantly using that very body in a pollution free enviroment. I set off on a 45 day experiment.

The contraption is this. If you can put the digestive system on hold, out of use, send it on vacation for a bit, salt water can be used during that period to clear out that digestive system and clear out any toxic, eh, shit, that's down there. The philosophy is that simple, "Detox Starts In The Intestine". So here's how it is in practice. You ingest only sugar cane juice, lemonade and cayenne pepper for a period of 10 or up to 40 days (Harald misread and did it for 45, but anyways...) The sugar, the minerals and the vitamins are taken up into the system straight away without proccessing, keeping you, well, alive, while the digestive system is out of use. Then! Yummy as it is, you drink every morning (and I needed practice to do it! Alot of it!) one litre of seline to flush your insides. Over the course of a some days it clears out everything in your intestine. And you'd be surprised to learn how much we're talking about. We really are full of shit, my friends. It took over a week to get it all out.
Then there's anti oxidants and various other agents working the body. You get vitamins and anti oxidants from the lemon juice. This is to help the body cleanse itself. The cayenne pepper also has anti-oxidants, but it is also a Flavon, which opens veins and pores. It makes you sweat a lot. It also acts as intestinal soap. The protein will not be taken up into the body due to the lack of bacteria and enzymes and instead works its mexican beauty on the, eh, shit, that sticks around like paint down below.
This soap works its magic throughout the day, and every morning you flush it out. The seline has the same mass index as blood, and as a result the kidneys won't touch it. It gets green light from glass to toilet, and takes with it everything in its path. I used a mineral rich form of halite (rock salt) called Kala Namak (literally black salt), which allthough replenishing minerals, tasted like egg. Like old eggs. Yuck! If anybody decides to do it sometime, use seasalt for heaven's sake. The stuff is good for you tho. It contains every mineral you need. In fact I had to filter most of it out there was so much, so I didn't damage my kidneys!

Two words on sugar cane juice. This stuff is delicious!!! Its freshly sqeesed at the stands you'll find on sidewalks throughout the subcontinent. Right at once when it comes out, its fizzling with nitrogen freeing itself from the liquid, bubbling up the surface. There are certain people who pride themselves with being able of telling the difference between Coka Cola and Pepsi with a blind fold. Waste of time. Coka Cola or Pepsi, shrinks like David Hasselhoff's stomach at the word "Action!", next to the real thing, the fresh sugar cane juice. It is super coke!! Its not just sugar, that's boring. Its full of minerals and vitamins, and you taste it. Sugar cane juice tastes like a circus of wonders even when the nitrogen is out, or when it comes to room temperature. Coke and Pepsi become radio active under the same conditions. People, you have to try sugar cane juice.

The 45 days are now over. One of the hardest things I have done ever. I found a terriffic way to celebrate the ending. I went to a Tibetan refugee camp! Where things were busy busy busy busy, the whole place coming alive as a matter of fact. Tibetan new years and festival. The year guys is now 2135, nevermind what others may tell you, yes. Year of the Earth Mouse, making a gigantic leap into the year of the Iron Bull. We will probably feel the earth tremble with such a shift. I tried asking some of the Lamas what year zero signifies. They had no reply.
Oh yes, Lamas and tibetans of all kinds getting busy for the celebrations. Large and small monks running back and forth, washing, cleaning preparing for the big event. Preparing the golden temple for the big puja. And someone is expected. Everyone is excited about it. Waiting, smiling! We line up along the road, Lamas, tourists, thousands of us lined up and down the roadside. A man sells popcorn! A helicopter arrives in the distance! This is fun indeed! But who are we waiting for?? Guess who's coming! Is it a King? Is it a Queen?

And now we cut to a message from my sponsors. And since I do not advertise here, we instead cut to these puns about puns: (enjoy)

1. "There is nothing punny about bad puns."
2. "Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
3. "A pun is the lowest form of humor, but poetry is much verse."
4. "A pun is its own reword."
5. "Immanuel doesn't pun; he Kant."
6. "If puns are the lowest form of wit, are buns the lowest form of wheat?"
7. "95% of the words in the English language can be incorporated into word-play (while the other 5% can be ex-pun-ged as im-pun-etrable)"
8. "I submitted ten puns to the 'Best Pun' contest, hoping that one would win. But no pun in ten did."

All done? Well... this post is getting rather long isn't it? I think I'd better stop for now... Except to say, I enjoy eating again. Bye.

New post, dude...

Back on the blog, dodging the what, four power surges we have every day right now? Used to be one, possibly two, on weekends. They say its due to the heat, and people are starting to use their ACs and the power plant can't supply enough electricity. I sometimes find myself chanting "nuclear".

My sanskrit book has the taunting title "Learn it in one month"! My classmate said he wanted his money back. Welcome to the wonderful world of 8 case grammar! We have the nominative and the akkusative, the dative and the ablative, the genitive and the vocative, the locative and the instrumental. And since the old speakers clearly couldn't stand such simplicity, they needed to add to the rule that case endings change along with the last vowel, or consonant of the noun in question. The word Jnana (knowledge) simply cannot be handled the same way as Atman (soul). That would be so... Lower caste, wouldn't it? It might actually have threatened the language with forreigners learning it!! So yes, we must highly elaborate it! The only way. That will show those bastards... And the casteless. They need to be taught their place, all of them!

Starting 3rd Grade of Sanskrit studies we have been fortunate enough to build small sentences for ourselves. Learn to properly distiguish "n" and "n" and "n" in our pronounciation. And yes, there are FOUR ways of pronouncing the letter P. Or T for that matter. They don't have an F. That letter is useless. Right today we started to learn Future and Past tense, since we... Aren't confused enough.

Still my favourite tho, is to learn how to brace those A's and T's and N's when I rehearse writing the letters one by one. (see pics). A first grade flashback! I hope you enjoyed that pun as much as I!! :)
(I know you did, Walther)

Oh, and I also have got to Level 2 Chanting! A real treat! Chanting level 2 means I get to say things like:
śrī-ādi-nāthāya namo astu
tasmai yenopadiṣhṭā haṭha
-yogha-vidyā vibhrājate
pronnata-rāja-yogham
āroḍhumichchoradhirohiṇīva
...Overandoverandoverandoverandover again. Mere Level 1 means I only get to say things like:
atha yogānuśāsanamaḥ
yogaścittavṛttinirodhaḥ
tadā draṣṭuḥ svarūpe'vasthānamaḥ
vṛttisārūpyamaḥ itaratra
Overandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandoverandover... So guess who's level 2! Hehehehe...

And so ehm... My studies continue. Starting to feel intellectual. Oh, and someone complained that I was not in any of the photos here on the blog. I feel terrible about that. I hadn't realised, and I hope this picture will redeem me.

Keep on keeping on.

So, no photos this Saturday evening, so sorry. I haven't had the chance to take any, so there aren't any.

But! I am as of now enabling comments on the blog. I figure the storm is settled a bit and I'm safely tucked in down here. I also have email on the side if you should choose that format. I may even answer them! Hey! I am on google chat if you happen to use that. I don't have a facebook. I can't understand anyone who does.

So, to end this post on a positive note, I am happy and fine down here. Still one piece, and I hope all is well up north. :)

Cheers!

PS: There is also a phone . The number is (+91) 9964573894

M.C.A.A.H.N.Y

....Aaaand happy birthday Harald. And Anders. I wish us the best.

Okay, I have never been so tired in my life before. Goa was crazy. New years was crazy. I was dancing so hard I had people walk up to me asking me where the acid was. I left the camera at home, knowing it would get broken had I brought it. So no pictures, sorry. Just some pics from Christmas Hindu style here in Mysore. I did the right thing though, looking back. In my hotel coming back from the party I had to brush sand out of my neck, cough out the smoke and hand my pants up to dry. I got away with only my shoes lost. Lost somewhere in the ocean... Now I have sandals :P

Its alright though. The shoes were organic, bio-degradable. Karma shoes. Shame is, if they break down in the forest, they can break down under your foot. They only lasted a few months. Big holes in the soles. I'm kinda happy about how I lost them like that.

Best wishes everyone.